I was standing on the dock overlooking the Charlotte Harbor at my favorite little park last night when my mind started to wander all over the place of how many memories one park has for me. My mind attempted to follow an order, but was inundated with memories to really to care, but I did try to have some conscious thought process of the order of events.
I thought of my first date as a college freshman with Alex, a boy I’ve known since my freshman year of high school. And how painfully awkward things were between us then and still now.
Then I thought about how I told Jen about the time Miles and I made muffins at his sister’s house and how much fun I had and how he kissed me unexpectedly. Then how he said he liked me when were in college Sociology together. I remember telling her I think I was falling in like with one of my close guy friends. Which turned out to be nothing a week later, just now I don’t have said guy friend anymore. Completely his fault.
The next thought was my long awaited first date with Mark-Andrew a couple of days before Christmas Eve we came out to this dock and I was convinced it was going to be perfect. But it wasn’t we bumped into a guy he knew smoking weed. It was awkward at the time because I wanted to spend time with only him not this pot-head guy. I mean I had waited 4+ years for this and he was only going to be on leave from the Navy for a short amount of time. Now it’s funny to think about really.
Another time Jen and I went for a walk again around the park and I told her about JT. My so called summer fling guy that I thought I was into. But he turned into a complete fiasco on our 21st birthday. Then me breaking up with him and kicking him out of my house.
As I continued to stare out at the river I thought to myself “I am such a late bloomer in life, with boys, driving, school, and God knows what else.”
I closed my eyes again and I started to think about Alex-Ryan. He was fun and unique guy I unofficially was dating my last semester at Edison. We didn’t have a lot in common and didn’t talk to much. We ate foods, took naps, watched movies, went to the beach on occasion, made out and stuffs. It was simple, but wasn’t going anywhere too serious.
The last 2 memories were the hardest that came to my mind. When I told Jen all about the spring conference, and how Jeffrey and I clicked and kissed the last night and he had to crash in my hotel room. I remember her not happy because I was unofficially seeing Alex-Ryan. This later created tension between me and her for almost 2 weeks the longest time ever in our frienshistoy. She eventfully did get over it because she saw how happy I was with him even with distance as a factor. The last memory was the night when I was sitting in Jen’s car when I decided it was time for me to break up with Jeffrey because our break wasn’t working. Plus a couple days prior I had met Steven and he indirectly what made me think twice about long distance, but of course I still loved Jeffrey.
I continued to stare out at the river wondering where the heck Malcolm was, so I sighed. I started walk back and forth in the cold on the dock. And I thought to myself one more time, I hope he’s ok and he can be the one guy that can make it all seem worth all these different emotions. Just then my phone started buzzing with Malcolm’s name on the screen announcing his arrival at the park.
I made my way away from the end of the dock to go meet him. He greeted me with a tight hug and kiss and said “Happy Valentine’s Day!” It was then all my past misadventures floated away I was thinking about earlier and I was able to smile because I was just simply happy to spend some time with him. We went for a walk around the park, on the dock, and then through the village before we ended up settling on a spot in the park where we listened to music and chatted. Then he opened his chocolates I got him and we shared a few.
It was a simple little date, but it made me happy more than he’ll know. It was my favorite “Day of Hearts” aka Valentine’s Day. And I was at peace when I sat with him looking at the Peace River.
I should be cleaning my bedroom right now its pretty messy there is stuff all over my floor and I have a pile of crap of my nightstand. I also really need to do my laundry, but instead I am sitting on my bed listening to Drake fighting the urge not to cry.
There is a song called “T.G.I.F.” by Katy Perry which if you ask me about a delusional Katy Perry from a crazy night and that is exactly what happened about 2-3 weeks ago, The only difference was I wasn’t delusional and I remember how awkward it was and how grateful I was when I finally returned home.
I take a partial blame for the craziness, but some of it was out my control. So, it all started on a Friday night when I was to stay with Ashley overnight for an overdue sleepover which would have been fine but of course that isn’t the case so this is basically what happened:
So yeah, that’s pretty much what all that happened and now I am just bleh like towards certain aspects of it all. Nevertheless, makes Rachel’s 21st birthday seem normal.
I need to get into swing of studying for my GKT retake like seriously. I keep writing in my planner everyday for last week and half to study and I have yet to pick up my test prep book to actually study. I guess I have my mind on other things like finding a second job, dating, and just having time to myself.
This is a promise to myself Tumblr, starting probably Monday (good day to start stuffs) WILL study for this damn test so I can feel confident and hopefully past it to move on in my program.
I need money!! Ugh!!
I just applied for like at least 10 jobs today even though I already have one. It sucks working only working like 2 days a week. I need my hours to be bumped up at my current job or a second job. Because sadly money doesn’t grow on trees.